Nayele18

I wish rage burned calories I would be so skinny

If you're gonna be an asshole today, be THE BEST goddamn asshole you can be!

The worst part about waking up is all the remembering.

Life is temporary. Fuck it and enjoy it.

How I long to hear those three little words…. I brought donuts

Them: Hey, I’m in your neighbourhood Me: Please keep going

If I ever write a manifesto it will center around the fact that Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups™️ have gotten considerably smaller over the years.

Gets ready. Looks in full length mirror. “Well, I’ve done what I can.”

Of course I know better, I just don’t care anymore

If the refrigerator didn't want us eat late at night... It wouldn't have a light in there

Nothing makes you feel older than your kid asking what a fax machine is.

The way you feel when you know you look good.. Confident, radiant, untouchable. Find someone who makes your heart feel like that… daily!

Things went well until the evil supermarket people hid my favorite products in new places

Introduced myself to the new neighbors by backing over their trash can and passing out in their front yard, so they can get to know the real me early on

What I think doesn't matter but that's never stopped me before.

If you care about me at all, you'll never decide to "just drop by randomly".

“just speak your mind” I will be institutionalized

Never fear, there's plenty of madness to go around.

Hang in there, at some point the fucks you give will be appreciated. Just kidding, no they won’t.

No one told me being an adult would involve this much looking for a place to sit

*removes all the raisins from my Raisin Bran and replaces them with two scoops of ibuprofen*