Jen
@SleepEatScream
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People who only need a quick 15 minute nap and feel refreshed afterwards are weirdos.
The time I spend, just thinking about food, is kind of embarrassing
Never hesitate in telling those who truly deserve it.. to fuck off. Good talk.
Making fun of myself so you all can join in on this fucking nonsense
If Ozzy resurrects himself in three days I’m gonna lose my shit.
You really can't judge a person based on a single restraining order.
I never play chicken with anyone unless I’m absolutely positive that I’m more crazy than they are.
If we could just harness the scalding innards of pop tarts we could end reliance on all fossil fuels.
If in doubt don't forget those 3 little words she loves to hear ... "you were right"
Boxed wine is just a gateway to living in a 1 bedroom apartment with 10 cats and collecting cow figurines
Didn't text the friend who loved ozzy, didn't text the friend who hated ozzy, that's growth
I just got 3 extra potato wedges at the wal mart deli counter for free from the 60something deli worker because I’m ’handsome’ so I got that going for me…
A size small coffee is like nonalcoholic beer - it exists, but no one is quite sure why.