Marcmywords

My attitude is… Fuck You

People who only need a quick 15 minute nap and feel refreshed afterwards are weirdos.

All the singles in my area want to do is talk farm equipment

I tell my ice cubes to watch out for Titanics

Live your life in present moments, not in future plans, because not even the next second is yours to own.

Peace lives where expectations die.

We all complain about all the idiots. But without them, there’d be no content.

Just received this congratulatory text from a friend. "Hey, you have outlived Dale Earnhardt Tom Petty and Ozzy Osborne. I'd say you're doing great!"

The lost art of knowing when to shut the fuck up.

Do that thing I like and shut the fuck up.

This drink tastes like I’ll be making bad decisions.

This drink tastes like I’ll be ignoring your stupidity.

I just want a guy who will love me and my sweaty boobs.

I think I heard my boobs whisper, "Thank you, sweet baby Jesus" when I took off my bra.

Sometimes I’m stupid enough to believe in love.

Sorry, can’t. I’m too busy trying to impress my internet friends.

Can't enjoy haiku Until I do the counting Trust but verify

I'm the chick people scroll past while they're taking their morning shit.

. Good Morning Shark Week Of The Fins To The Left Fins To The Right Twitterville

If you followed me, know that I don't improve over time.