Sweet Momissa
@sweetmomissa
Like the song only saltier. Started as a blogger now I’m here
My kids have started removing one letter of bad words, so they can call each other names and not get in trouble. So, I've decided to add one digit to the wifi password until they can be nice to each other. Your move itches
It’s like he doesn’t even know why I told him I needed a back massage.
It’s like he doesn’t even know why I’m wearing these ponytails.
Maybe she’s beautiful, maybe she remembered to sign up for plates and napkins at her kid’s school this year.
Remember when people used to hang Magic Eye pictures in their homes like they were artwork? That was weird.
Girls will be like “I’m in a really good place right now“ and they’re in the candle aisle at Target.
For someone who watches a lot of apocalyptic movies, I have a surprisingly whimsical and optimistic personality.
I'm gifted scented candles so often that my home looks like a sex shrine to whoreberries.
Who you are when someone reaches over to take food from your plate.... is the real you
Is there a rehab for introverts who try to extrovert? Asking for a friend.
Ozzy Osbourne proved that eyeliner, passion, and just a little chaos can take you all the way to legend status.
The Target self-checkout camera: Psssst… look up. Me: *looks up* Oh god.
husband: you should get out more me: *goes to Target* husband: not like that
No YOU just repeatedly tugged on the car door handle for five minutes before realizing it wasn't unlocking because it wasn't your car.