Hollie Harris
@allholls
Writer. Mom. Storyteller. #GenXer. And apparently the person in charge of what's for dinner until the end of time.
*walking into someone's house with healthy, thriving houseplants everywhere* Me: Oh, I see you dabble in witchcraft.
Sometimes all you need is a drive with windows down and some Summertime Sadness cranked.
Autocorrect changed the word response to twosome. Maybe as we’re nearly at the weekend, I don’t know.
A crucial interview question: How do you feel about employees who Reply to All and why should they be fired immediately?
Idk about you but I'm gonna lay in this bed with the TV on and watch tikTok and forget that I'm an adult for a few hours
Streaming service: I see you paused your show with 3 minutes left, would be a shame if someone were to...restart it from the beginning
I should get a little treat after every meeting on a Friday, as a treat
Imagine hating me and I’m just over here looking at soup recipes.
Do I have a type, or do I just keep dating people who look like they’d ruin my credit score?
Welcome to your 40s. A random back pain will be assigned to you shortly and you'll never know what flares it up every time.
me: well I just got mugged violently. starbucks employee: sir all you did was pay for your coffee me: SAME THING
Contrary to what my taste in music would have you believe, I don’t actually do drugs.
I can do anything I put my mind to, but there’s nothing my mind wants to do today.
The trick to not being an embarrassing parent to an 11yr old is to not trip whilst running up the stairs pretending to be Tom Cruise, in front of the 11yr old and her friend.
The secret to a long and happy marriage is just complaining to your partner over and over about them being on your side of the bed.
Maybe the reason we weren’t that affected by all the violence we saw in cartoons as kids is because it was offset by classical music.
I should just start introducing myself as the one with the smudged mascara.
My smartwatch: Your heart rate is high. Do you want to log exercise? *me, breathing hard and struggling to open a package of bacon*