machine pun jelly👹
@iamvkhil2
i don't know how much of it is sane and acceptable.
Fuck nudes, send a picture of your pills for me to see what kind of psycho I'm dealing with
The past didn't stay in the past It came to haunt Like cobwebs Dripping in glowing dew Signalling it may disappear But it stays stuck In a loop somewhere #poetry #pic Stockcake
"Don't cry over split milk" Ok, but what if that milk was part of my coffee?!
do i care to dance with the devil? that depends, what’s the moon lookin like
I sweated my ass off once. Just once. 0/10 Don't recommend. My ass still hasn't recovered.
watching a controlled field burn catch my husband’s deer stand on fire: oh no Husband: you could at least pretend to be sorry about that Me: OH MY GOD I AM SO SO SORRY YOUR TREE FORT BURNT UP BABY Husband:
I’m ready to be hurt again. — Me to the jalapeño cheddar brat that just burnt the roof of my mouth
When a friend says “you look skinny” it’s a compliment but when a mom says it she thinks you’re not eating enough and will bring casseroles the next time she visits.
What do you mean we're not living in the future?? They're selling buckets of coffee.
Currently going back to the past by watching Back to the Future.
When the heart has a little cry But the eyes stay painfully dry
sorry to bother, but is any of your imaginary friends a millionaire ?
The sun sucks. You big, shiny, sizzling son of a bitch
No one: Me: After you left the farm Clarice, where did you go?
My kids are making something in the kitchen with their friends, and it sounds very complicated. How scared should I be