KoKeni Snap'sSquatch

Long story, short is actually a pretty accurate description of me.

Someone grab a towel, my sarcasm is dripping everywhere.

Maybe we could have avoided this whole mess if we just listened to Daft Punk when they told us to doo doo doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doo.

You're wiggity wack.

If I ever did a podcast, I would do it only to make you guys suffer by dealing with me even more.

Sometimes, life feels like God handed me a kazoo and said, “Play That Funky Music, White Boy.”

It used to be you didn't have to tell everyone here that this stuff is 75% sarcasm.

Is this a bakery or a gynecologist office? ~Blind people, probably.

For your information I can’t dish it out or take it so

If you see someone crying ask them if it’s because their mother let them out the house looking like that

Dress for the body you have, not the body you want.

Wanna find some awe and wonder with me

Coffee is fool’s gold that makes you think you had enough sleep the night before.

My comments on your home decor are not criticisms, they are deep concerns.

Guard your toddler tunnel, ladies. The weekend is upon us and Pedro Pascal is feeling anxious

I'm hooked on both a feeling and Phonics.

[nervously checks newsfeed to see who died today]

I snorted my tea on that one thankyouverymuch😭😭😭😭☠️☠️☠️

Sending you all the caffeine.

Luckily I'm lazy, if I turned on the charm it would be over for like 2.45% of the bitches here