Sa🐝rina ✨

Overrated: shower sex 69 low-fat ice cream Underrated: morning sex nerdy men breakfast for dinner

you look very biteable bc you a snack

girl that’s not a random headache. you are dehydrated, malnourished, over caffeinated, over stressed, and sleep deprived

Women asking other men to spoil them when they have a boyfriend/husband is top tier cringe

imma just start saying wise as hell stuff all the time

Just me and my 6 pairs of reading glasses against the fine print world

just me and my five pillows against the dawn.

The worst thing I’ve ever done is become important at work.

girls be on twitter for 15 minutes just to retweet everything they see and leave

National parks have hiking trails for everyone, from “I climb mountains for breakfast” to “I just tripped on a curb.”

This is the realist thing said so far today.

“Should I eat before we go so I don’t embarrass you by how much I am going to order?” Questions I ask him before we go to dinner with friends.

you ever meet a man and it’s so obvious that no one in his life has ever told him to shut the fuck up

men be pushing 40 & still treating women bad. grow up, you about to die.

I talk a lot of smack for someone who needs to tiptoe in the 5 foot end of the pool or else I'll drown

Road trip to Georgia for fresh peaches and chill?

And just like that, a switch flips and you're ready to love and be loved again.

girl so help me god if you don’t put your fucking records on

i’m in my old lady pants era and i don’t care who knows it. we’ve all been missing out on those alfred dunner stretchy waists.

I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable, it will happen again