💀SpookyLittleComic👻

My apologies if it’s been done

Extreme heat watch alert: Stay inside in an air-conditioned room. Stay out of the sun and limit outdoor activities. Drink plenty of fluids. Me: You had me at "stay inside".

The moon rises pretty fast. If you don’t chain yourself up by sundown, you might eat your neighbor. -Ferris Bueller, wolf edition, probably

i sensed the gravity of the situation without any help from newton. who's stupid now ?

Let’s get lost in the aisles of an old book store.

I pray Ozzy did not go to a place where a bat is biting off his head.

Favorite Val Kilmer role?

Decaf coffee? Take your cup of crazy elsewhere

I want gothic drama, not healthy communication. V.C. Andrews didn’t raise me to settle for a boring love story.

Went from 5’3” to 5’2.99”…so I’ve gone from…elf to gremlin? Did I do that right?

If being tired was a super power, I'd be invincible

I like to think I’m never overly dramatic but I just walked through a cobweb and it ruined my life for like six minutes

Dear Twitter, If we want to know about your dick, we’ll tell you.

Never fear, there's plenty of madness to go around.

Hell is an all-you-can-eat buffet of circus peanuts.

Lisa Frank is the Emily Dickinson of dolphin art, imo.

And we’re reporting live from the best little whorehouse in Texas…

I lived, laughed, loved one time. Never again.

Scrolling should burn calories.

Self deprecation is my go to because there is nothing you can say to me that I haven’t already used to stab myself first

If you're having second thoughts you're two ahead of most people these days.