💀SpookyLittleComic👻

My apologies if it’s been done

That drum solo from In the Air Tonight, but it’s me just slapping my tummy waiting for the microwave to beep.

I'm hooked on both a feeling and Phonics.

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here looking at soup recipes.

He said she was “too dramatic.” So was Mary Shelley. Some girls build monsters just to feel understood.

i must acquire a hotdog about this

I know my husband is glad he ordered this after the concert.

All down escalators should just be replaced with slides.

My comments on your home decor are not criticisms, they are deep concerns.

Coffee is fool’s gold that makes you think you had enough sleep the night before.

I love those little nods from the universe that you did the right thing.

Humans: "Fuck Off, Aliens." Aliens: "UFO."

Hurt my knee comin’ up on a toilet.

I asked a scarecrow if he enjoyed his job. He said “It’s not for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans.”

Using mind control to make you hit yourself while asking your subconscious why you're hitting yourself

No.

You can’t make everyone happy, you’re not a lasagna.

Your tweets are the plastic of social media.

I’m okay with the hiccup or the belch, maybe even gas expulsion. But not if you eat eggs. Me flirting.

Me: Finally, it’s cool enough to sleep with the windows open. Neighbor’s rooster: *taps mic*

I have the audacity of a feral woodland sprite