Næmï on Mars

"STOP" - people I'm punching in the dick

I wish laughing inappropriately in serious situations was a job

screaming, "SHOW YOURSELF!!!!" to fog

Give a man a bj and he'll smile for a day, remove two of his ribs and he'll be like thanx byeee

I bet all of your towels are like hotel towels when you're rich

“Fuhgeddaboudit” I say, remembering everything

Using mind control to make you hit yourself while asking your subconscious why you're hitting yourself

Voices be like "they can't hear me, only you can hear me, lol you look insane"

☹ <--- sad aborted baby face

Beards be like "shut up, face"

Cheese deserves its own government

googling who is scratching at the inside of my mirror

What strange face holes you have

Combing through the details in search for the devil

Note to self: Cut it out.

Refusing to pleasure my wife to own the libs

Having to go to HR for asking if HR stands for "huge rack".

sometimes people are like “hey, you hurt my feelings”.

a homeless man just levitated toward me & asked me for a dollar using my own voice

curly fries are my favorite as they're salty and spiraling, like me.