Larry’s Twin 99
@LarrysTwin99
I am not leaving my wife. Unless something better comes along. Which I hope is tomorrow. $69 unblock fee. Meet ups for eating only.
She’s a 10, but her feet are always freezing cold.
Pro tip: If you tilt your head and stare up at the pallet racking long enough, one of the guys will walk over, ask what you need, and get it down for you.
We ended up spending the entire date talking about ourselves in third person.
Coffee is fool’s gold that makes you think you had enough sleep the night before.
I feel like when Kurt Russell finally tells Goldie Hawn they aren't really married in Overboard
At the grocery store I smell things and squeeze things so people think I know what I’m doing. They’d be happier if it was the food, though.
This is it. This is life the one you get so go and have a ball
Sorry, I only have energy for bed, not bath, and definitely not beyond.
The audacity of someone who doesn't even follow me leaving a 200-word essay in replies.
Do I have a type, or do I just keep dating people who look like they’d ruin my credit score?
She is a mess, but man, she is a beautiful fucking mess.