Crazy Stalker Mom

A graveyard for thoughts.

Not a fan of frozen pizza. Too cold in my opinion.

I was hoping you'd be unforgettable in a good way.

Rage baiting men for sport.

my mom warned me bout drugs not women under 5'6

(gestures to your screaming child) yo, can you shut this thing up

Word out on the street is I shouldn’t be out there because it’s too hot

It’s important to know that not everyone who is kind also cares

Imagine hating me and I’m over here letting your dad feel me up at Lowe’s

It probably means nothing.

Wasn’t aware I needed your approval.

Let’s get lost in the aisles of an old book store.

You, me, snacks, drinks, and the open road.

Babe, you wanna listen to music together while I rub your butt?

Do that thing I like and shut the fuck up.

therapy isn’t enough i need a dragon

Master the art of being unbothered.

Speaking into a fan is cheaper than therapy and twice as dramatic.

It's disappointing when you watch a high school basketball game and no one turns into a werewolf.

I lived, laughed, loved one time. Never again.

All of my fucks have been allocated and accounted for.