Crazy Stalker Mom

A graveyard for thoughts.

Believe me. If I could shut it off, I would.

You deserve the loyalty you give.

All the wrong people hate themselves.

One time I watched three minutes of "The View" and I forgot how to tie my shoes.

I just write tweets. I don't claim they're good or anything.

You don’t scare me, I gave birth to my ops.

Wife: on a scale from 1-10, how annoyed are you with me right now? Husband: 8 Wife: i can do better than that

99% of incoming calls I receive end up going straight to vm, it’s like my phone has given up that I’ll ever answer it

Age isn’t an issue, what’s your net worth?

i'd share my secret forest with you

I need an 18 hour nap.

But what if I don't want someone that's good for me.

"I have no idea what's happening here" *Me, flirting

If I DM you a "Hi" just know I meant it

I sailed upon my dreams Remembering your name...

Pro tip: You can totally hate the player AND the game

Life humbles you. As you grow older, you stop chasing the big things and start valuing the little things. Alone time, enough sleep, a good diet, long walks & quality time with loved ones. Simplicity becomes the ultimate goal.

Therapy isn’t enough; I need an expense account.

I don't care who you are, if Mmmbop comes on, you better dance with me

Hey, does anyone remember my myspace password?