Tragically Tater🍁

Just watched 3 people jogging outside and it has inspired me to get up and close the blinds.

If you're looking for words of encouragement or possibly a hug, well look somewhere else.

The worst part about waking up is all the remembering.

I think I was Judge Judy in a past life without the law degree.

Going forward I will be using the word NO more frequently.

A mixed tape but it's just me talking about things I like to eat.

If history has taught me anything it's that I fuck up a lot.

Maybe you have to take a wrong turn to get to the right place. You don't know.

Finally decided to get my ass up off the couch and slide into my bed.

Once I get my confidence back, feel motivated and find the energy, it's over for you bitches.

Pretty sure sitting by the ocean watching the sun go down would fix 89% of my problems.

Maybe you should internalize the trauma like the rest of us.

Used my husband's body wash and forgot how to change a toilet paper roll.

I was thinking about doing something productive but I should probably just slow down on thinking.

This is the most popular Coldplay has ever been.

Could really go for a chicken pot pie or maybe just some chicken or maybe just some pot or maybe both. 🤔

Occasionally my body will remind me how fragile life is while I'm choking on my own spit.

While I was at work last night I had an x-ray done and turns out I have liquid on the knee and arthritis. Getting old is stupid.

I need a t-shirt that reads: "It wasn't me"

I like that glasses suggest intelligence instead of fucked up eyesight

I blame the muffin man.