Ultraindigo
@Ultraindigo8
Some opinions are actually 3 feelings on top of each other in a lab coat
Why don't they air "Shark Week" in the winter when we don't give a fuck about going to the beach?
Why do people say “tuna fish”, but not “chicken bird”??
Seriously this is the ✨dream✨
I can’t tell you how much I’d love to marry and then be publicly cheated on by a man with a reported net worth of £1.3bn
why is the pressure to “be the bigger person” always placed on the person who was wronged?
i get so flattered when butterflies or bees buzz around me like sorry ladies i’m not a flower but it’s so sweet that you thought i was hehe
Roman numeral puns are great and I for one will continue to make them.
it’s easy to mock Coldplay. but not many groups can put out four new singles in a night.
Laugh all you want. My Encyclopedia Britannica set will never require WiFi.
Washing machine broke... the repair guy was a wizard but denied any knowledge regarding where all the socks go... i tried to get the info, guys!
I was in the pub when the barmaid screamed, "Does anyone know CPR?" I yelled, "I know the entire alphabet," and we all laughed and laughed—well, except one person
If you boil a funny bone, it becomes a laughing stock. That's humerus.
If you're about to be attacked by a werewolf, loudly say "WHO'S GETTING A BATH? SOMEBODY'S GONNA GET A BATH!" and he'll run away and hide.
Sawing a hole in a table from underneath to steal a cake is a lot harder than cartoons would have you believe.
Memories are a bit fuzzy — but regrets? They’re in 8K and Dolby Vision.