Cooper Lawrence
@CooperLawrence
Multiple Gracie Award Winning Radio Host, TV chick @sunriseon7, Published Author, Irritant. Listen to me @CBSNewsRadio
Apologies to our waitress Amy who said to my dad, “wanna box for the leftovers?” and he replied, “no, but I’ll wrestle you for them” hope we tipped enough
TJMaxx is great if you like shopping in the closet of a woman who died in 1992
My daughter’s new bluetooth karaoke mic has suddenly and mysteriously disappeared and we are all just so, so sad that we can’t find it
me: *starts coffee maker* me: *2 minutes later* what's that noise
Before the Internet, we didn’t even know how dumb everyone was. We suspected of course, but now we have proof.
10 years ago, I put my phone on silent and never looked back.
My husband accidentally got me a burger with a gluten free bun and vegan cheese. We had a good run.
Cyndi Lauper should release a new song called Moms Just Want to Sleep In.
Me: these 1940s vintage purses are adorable, but they don’t fit a modern cell phone 10 year old niece: were cell phones much smaller back then?
My husband once cheated on me at a Hanson concert and in an MMMBop he was gone
coldplay has provided me more entertainment in the past 24 hours than they have in their entire musical career.
my wife cheated on me at a nickelback concert and this is how you remind me
I caught my husband cheating on me at a Nirvana concert and now I feel stupid and contagious.
As a radio host you have no idea how hard it is to get the microphone to come to your mouth rather than you moving towards it. It’s a challenge we face every morning #BadStockPhotosOfMyJob
“do you want to add avocado for $4?” no, i want to pay my car insurance this month
A guy was rude to me in the pharmacy section. Ten minutes later, he got behind me at checkout with one item. I had a full cart and didn’t let him go ahead. Actions have consequences, Greg.
Me [waking up] OMG…..WHAT IS THIS?? IS THIS A NEW MOLE?? ….DO I HAVE CANCER?? Boyfriend : that is a chocolate chip. You were eating chocolate chip cookies in bed last night and you fell asleep on one