Stefan Urquelle
@OfficeofSteve
you've been smooching with everybody Blocked by https://twitter.com/SimpsonsQOTD https://twitter.com/search?q=From%3Aofficeofsteve%20%20exclude%3Areplies&src=ty
You're either normal or you study the menu before going to a restaurant
After 8 years of tapping my phone all the FBI got was 579 recordings of me ordering a pepperoni pizza.
Sharon Osbourne straightening Ozzy’s hair with an iron. That’s the tweet.
There will only be world peace if we get another Gangnam Style
I either see no one I know in my feed, or six posts from the same few people. And huge bra or blackhead ads. There is no in between.
Even when the clouds form above and darkness blocks the sun rays, she'll still sparkle with colour and bloom effortlessly.
Some days I just want to float away to Cheddar Bay on a Gouda gondola
Hobbies? I have hobbies, what do you call staying inside to avoid the heat
*removes all the raisins from my Raisin Bran and replaces them with two scoops of ibuprofen*
Yeah. Ok.
The fact that this is the most famous silhouette in the world.
*Adds broccoli to recipe for the health benefits* *Picks broccoli out while eating it*
I hope the new Pope sees all the dope memes and tweets we’re making for him.
I get it Apple CarPlay… I keep wanting to disconnect too.
My kids have started removing one letter of bad words, so they can call each other names and not get in trouble. So, I've decided to add one digit to the wifi password until they can be nice to each other. Your move itches
her: hey babe do you want me to DoorDash anything for you me: no but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night her: I dunno why I agreed to date you