Jennifer Killa Dilla
@HauntedJennifer
Haunted.
Please excuse me while I mentally checkout 🎀
I don’t mean to brag, but I didn’t let my mood talk me into getting bangs today.
[in church] husband, whispers: Why are you holding a dollar? me: For an anniversary offering. h: Oooohhhhh....when was our anniversary? me: Today.
We are the wieners, my friends And we will be roasted in the end
I have a meeting with HR in 30 minutes and I’m not even a CEO, I don’t get it.
Message to men: You can wait for things to cool down before touching/eating. You don’t have to hurt yourself.
Labubus this laboobies that… why don’t you go to la biblioteca and read a book for once
It’s impossible to drive past a Starbucks without your teen announcing it.
[disappears] -the third gallon of milk I've bought this week
There is a STARK difference in the physical quality of concert/band tees from the ‘90s vs. now.
Know how to tell if a friend is loyal and trustworthy? If they bark.
Dear Lord Baby Jesus, why are my puppy’s teeth so sharp?
Sometimes it’s not about what we want, but about what we won’t.
I asked Ticketmaster how much it was for two Coldplay tickets & the lady said “Your house & half your net worth.”
Maybe the real treasure was the Coldplay tweets we made along the way.