paused mortem 💀

After careful consideration, fuck this shit.

Ever think to yourself “how is this my life” then eat five pounds of gummy bears?

Does the grim reaper not have the right address?

Sometimes you got to let some grudges go to make room for new ones…< inspirational>

The wheels coming off a few gravy trains lately

I've been saying, "it can wait until tomorrow" for 20 years.

"Realistic" and it's just another caucasianification.

These phones are turning us into fuckheads.

I’m madly in bleh with you.

20 years later and I'm still gagged by mariah carey's "them chickens is ash and I'm lotion" lyric. Shakespeare could never.

Life is like jenga Stupid

Wdym mental infidelity? Fucking psychos. If they don't like you anymore, then just accept it. Fucking self-absorbed cunts.

I hope you're alright, I know, everything's a shit show

Affectionately fills your shoes with pork and beans.

You know what’s easy…respecting boundaries

I don't know what's wrong with me, but I'm pretty sure it's a lot.

It's me. Your favorite horror show.

A mixed tape but it's just me talking about things I like to eat.

I must be color blind because I keep treating these Red flags like they were straight green lights.

If you watch Shark Tank you're part of the problem

Of course I know better, I just don’t care anymore