Kate oh no
@Kateness8
I’m doing amazing, sweetie • she/her • as seen on buzzfeed that one time • Reese’s Goblin • wishlist: http://amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/2JSFQPEHTICQN?ref_=wl_share
Alanis Morissette taught me that as long as I have one hand in pocket everything’s gonna be fine fine fine
No I didn't see the Coldplay jumbotron thing I was busy looking at my wife
I can cry on command. Just tell me to do something and I’ll cry
That’s me in the corner That’s me in the spotlight Losing my identity REM stole my credit card Oh no they’ve bought too much I haven’t got enough
Gonna open a breakfast place like hooters only all the male waiters wear booty shorts and it’s called Mancakes
Look I didn’t survive all those quicksand threats just to have to live in a world this dumb
Blink twice if you need help. Or thrice. Or however many times Blink 182 if you need help
Every now and then I think of that episode of Arrested Development where Lindsay learns to cook and she makes Hot Ham Water. And Buster says “it’s got a smack of ham to it”
The great thing about twitter is that you’re never the craziest or weirdest one here.
Taking off a bra is great but taking off a sweaty bra is greater