Rick Aaron
@RickAaron
The heat is comin' down and I'm not laughin'
My television roles include “Fleeing Suspect” on Season 3 of Cops and “Jubilant Non Father” on Season 7 of the Maury Povich Show.
Me: *minds own business* Selfie camera: THIS IS THE UNDERSIDE OF YOUR CHIN
I caught my husband cheating on me at a Nirvana concert and now I feel stupid and contagious.
The Astronomer CEO told his wife that the Jumbotron video is a Democratic hoax created by Obama.
The only Coldplay I’d ever see is Frozen: The Hit Broadway Musical
Not book smart. Not street smart. But a third, less useful smart.
I’d pay $49.95 to watch that annual performance review on pay-per-view.
Life update: I'm happy to announce that today is my first day as the Head of PR for Astronomer!! Excited to take a big sip of coffee and log in to my company email
When I heard “Trump” & “venous” my first thought was Elon had SpaceX launch him there.
My notifications bar isn't showing something cool, so I will not take and share a screenshot until it is.
“I asked ChatGPT” “I asked Grok” well I asked Zoltar to be big and now I’m in this middle aged idiot’s body.
Chronic Venous Insufficiency was also the name of my death metal band
I asked Ticketmaster how much it was for two Coldplay tickets & the lady said “Your house & half your net worth.”
My puppy’s favorite game is- Guess what I’m eating now?
Day in the Life: Schedule Release Edition 📆✨ #TusksUp | @SeatGeek
A cute girl just smiled at me in traffic so of course I flipped her off get out of the way lady this is no time for games
My impression of other married couples: “Hey, you two should come over tonight and watch us fight about hamburgers.”
Then they came for the sarcastic people and I was like oh great that's exactly what we need right now well done to all concerned.