Avogadro’s House of Moles
@schumoo
shameless grifter, pathological liar
Mercury retrograde: because adulting is hard, and sometimes you just need a celestial excuse.
All it takes is one song to catapult you back in time to 1995.
my fiancé just got his wisdom teeth out so I’m gonna do it too 🫶🏼 we love doing things together
me, talking to my friend dale while eating some clams i found in a bag in the parking lot: so anyway, that’s how drinking hot dog water can raise your IQ. jesus, who has suddenly materialized behind me & has gently put his hand on my shoulder: are you ready to see your ancestors?
You can’t fake chemistry nor can you deny it when you have it
People who only need a quick 15 minute nap and feel refreshed afterwards are weirdos.
Wearing a vest is a timeless, stylish way to have someone ask you wherever you go, "Excuse me, do you work here?"
Bats flying slow circles around the moon like, “He was chaos. He was rock. He was ours.” Rest easy, Ozzy.
Remember when people used to hang Magic Eye pictures in their homes like they were artwork? That was weird.
Recently an older country guy told me about having to mark some property that had been cleared a few years ago but is now thick with 6-10-foot saplings, briars, and bushes. He said, "I didn't see any snakes but I bet a bunch saw me." Best ruralism I've heard in years.
New NPR Slogans News for people who already know everything. Let us program you with new reasons to hate the United States. We ALL know socialism just hasn't been done correctly yet. Come for the sanctimony, stay for the confirmation bias.
Just met my quota for being nice for the day. Better luck next time.
I just know I could never date an Alfredo because all I would think about is pasta.
I think the safest thing for us all right now is to pick which gang we want to be in.
Waking up to a good morning text <waking up to new deposit that hit your bank
Imagine how great life would be if we could actually fly by the seat of our pants.