🏴☠️ How YOU Doin 🏴☠️
@jollyrobber
Thoughts from the dark side of a married man. It is what it is. I ain't shit. Damaged goods. @cinnabon is my TC https://bsky.app/profile/jollyrobber.bsky.social
I hope one day I can properly convey to her the effect her ass has on me, both physically and spiritually.
Throwing the trap with Mickey Mouse in it away: I shoulda known not to sign up for Disney+ perks
Me on grocery store intercom: I’d like to warn the other shoppers that there’s a hugger on aisle five
In the 70s, if you had a really big hit song on the radio one of the big three networks would just give you a primetime variety show.
Girl, are you awaiting a misdirected parcel? Because I want to deliver this package to you.
In summer 1979, the biggest celebrities on the planet were Pope John Paul II, Burt Reynolds, and David Naughton. And they are not listed here in order of popularity.
These are our sextuplets Captain, Tennille, Ashford, Simpson, Loggins, and Messina.
You don't really know me, if you haven't ever watched me eat lasagna
Things went well until the evil supermarket people hid my favorite products in new places
Not trying to hate on talkative people but please shut the fuck up.
Not to brag, but my kids just listened to me the very seventh time I asked.
I’m ready to be hurt again. — Me to the jalapeño cheddar brat that just burnt the roof of my mouth
Me holding misbehaving 6yo’s head down so she won’t hit it on the top bunk: you may as well get used to this…it’s what cops do when they put you in their patrol car
When they find my manifesto, it'll just be a list of all the cheeses I ate.