ES
@ESXIII
I was a kid with opinions, but I kept my mouth shut while I was still smackable. This is good advice if anyone knows any children.
I wrote a tweet about flaming politicians, marshmallows, gasoline and journalists that I thought was pretty good but didn’t post it because it might offend some people, namely politicians and journalists.
Yes children, I remember the days of tweetups and bare legged bathtub selfies; Titty Tuesdays and Follow Fridays. They seem to have disappeared just like the hope of a free edit button and a life distracting me from the bluebird's siren call. If only X marked the spot.
Do not invite a bunny into your garden for "just one carrot" those mfs do not respect boundaries
It grew up and became big pox.
Why do you think smallpox doesn't exist any more?
My advice is to choose a charming hobby that no one can hold against you.
I was planning to become a recording star but I found out somebody already had an album called “Nilsson Schmilsson.”
In the 70s, if you had a really big hit song on the radio one of the big three networks would just give you a primetime variety show.
Me: Finally, it’s cool enough to sleep with the windows open. Neighbor’s rooster: *taps mic*
I'm an old, slow Cape buffalo, the best target for trailing lions. Perhaps this could be someone else’s job today.
At :04 and 1:26 is the great Mr. Robert Benchley, who is the single greatest influence on my creative life. He didn't just appear in Disney shorts. Look him up.
How sounds were made for Disney cartoons in 1941
I bet my friend I could remember how to write an uppercase cursive Q, so now she's ordering chicken for her Caesar salad.
This is the awesome stuff that happens when we have an American pope.
This evening, 56 years after the Apollo 11 moon landing, I spoke with the astronaut Buzz Aldrin. Together we shared the memory of a historic feat, a testimony to human ingenuity, and we reflected on the mystery and greatness of Creation.
Palm trees get your attention, sure, but are they a tree you'd tell your secrets to?
Only later did you realize your favorite professor's house looked like it was fished out of a canal.
them: "so where do you summer" me: "ahh yes, the same place I winter, Detroit" (except i pronounce it "day-twa" like the french)
My biggest poetry influence as an impressionable youth was Black Sabbath.
you wake up, bleary eyed, snail trails light up a path to the pantry, you find the coffee all brewed and empty slimy mugs of dregs by the sink, the caffeine mollusk strikes again!