Lottie-pop 🍭

I’m no social butterfly but if you want a disassociating moth hmu

Maybe all she needs is a really tight hug.

Don't ask what's wrong with me because you don't have the time or the degree for that

No one told me being an adult would involve this much looking for a place to sit

I just want to lose an hour or ten in a really good bookstore

If you're gonna be an asshole today, be THE BEST goddamn asshole you can be!

RIP Ozzy

Not now bitch, I'm wasting my potential.

I’m blissfully unaware of about 99 percent of the shit that goes on around here.

I will stop overthinking when my tattoos wash off.

I wish my kids got as excited for chores as they do showing us their poops.

My hobbies include being tired and wishing I could take a nap.

I'm so lucky people can't hear what I'm thinking.

My daughter’s new bluetooth karaoke mic has suddenly and mysteriously disappeared and we are all just so, so sad that we can’t find it

No one: Me: (standing in the rain) … “It’s raining.”

10 years ago, I put my phone on silent and never looked back.

Personally I blame my exposure as a child to ‘the very hungry caterpillar’ for my snack addiction

If you dont say 'right' before getting up and going somewhere, are you even British.

I’m a very sleepy person, just at all the wrong times

My favorite pastime is staying up way later than I should and complaining the next day about how tired I am