FloatOn🎈☕️

I'm a little smartass,short & stout Here is my finger,here is my mouth When I get all worked up I will shout Piss me off & I'll cuss you out

You can’t fake depth. Either your eyes have stories, or they don’t

coffee so dark it plots your untimely demise.

If you're gonna be an asshole today, be THE BEST goddamn asshole you can be!

I use a filter* on all of my tweets. *a swearing filter

You wanna know if I’m a real person? *blocked.

I got nobody to catch me if I fall. And I will fall someday. Everybody does.

Did you unexpectedly smile today ?… -I hope so 💛

They asked about my heart, and I showed them sunset.

Sex so good I almost tell your dad about it.

It should be 1996 at the absolute latest.

What’s it like having nothing to lose?

your future self is talking mad shit about you

One day, you wake up and you're old

I should probably go to bed before I unleash 13 or 14 tweets about eating ass.

I’m going to start walking around in my yard at night in my bathrobe so my neighbors will build that privacy fence I always wanted.

There's no such thing as a bad day for a tattoo. #inkme #cravingink #TattooDayEveryday

July: "I miss hockey" August: "I miss hockey" September: "I miss hockey” October: “SHOOT THE PUCK! SHOOT THE FUCKING PUCK!”