Joel Jeffrey
@joeljeffrey
6"2', 200lbs, misshapen head, beautiful skin. https://x.com/search?q=(from%3Ajoeljeffrey%20)%20exclude%3Areplies&src=typed_query&f=top
I always carry a piece of paper with me, just in case someone tries to attack me with a rock.
if you aren’t sleeping with me then you’re sleeping against me
Although I did spend the majority of the date talking about various lunch meats, I think it went well.
The floor is literally the biggest shelf in your house.
My husband’s family thinks I’m an amazing cook (I am) but I just use butter and salt and they do not.
Welcome to marriage. Here's the new way you fold towels.
They should just replace all late night talk shows with Foghorn Leghorn cartoons.
Don’t donate your plasma. It’s a big scam and they’re just using it to make TVs.
Coldplay should out people at every concert and say that they've just been Coldplayed
He had eyes the color of dill pickle water and the education to know that's brine.
There's no reason to be bored flying on an airplane. Use the time to tell the person next to you your entire life story.
My husband and i have a secret to making our marriage last. Twice a week we go to a nice restaurant,drink a little wine,eat nice food, and enjoy a good conversation. He goes on Tuesdays and I go Friday.
the elderberry is the wisest and most knowledgeable of all the berries
I’m poop sitting my friend who’s trying laxatives for the first time
And to my children I leave my collection of grocery bags that I store inside of a grocery bag.