James

How I do Black Friday…

I feel so excited for this weekend I think I might shit myself..

forgive me father for i have texted a man first

She is the pot of gold at the end of my cock..

I won’t argue. I’ll just cut your brake lines.

Hulk Hogan & Captain Tom, reunited at last

Slow french kissing could fix me.

Just pretend to be in the same vibe.

We would taste so good together...

Long week… But we still have some unfinished business

I had a near sex experience.. My life flashed before your thighs

I was an ugly duckling who grew up to be a beautiful pervert..

When tequila doesn’t kill you, it humiliates you

Me: why can a dog lick its own balls but I can’t lick mine?.. Therapist: …….

The word "sips" is an anagram of the word "piss". Ponder that.

I’m here for the mixtapes, sextapes and mistakes..

you're the bees tits.

You have to be quicker with the sexts reply babe… This boner is on a time limit

You’re welcomed as much as a warm public toilet seat

me and that one guy

when a girl is done with you she talks to you like she in HR or sum