Grace Jarvis

if a woman tells you you have “nice hands” she is doing everything in her power not to fuck you senseless please release her from her torment her friends are receiving the kinds of messages someone in prison would send

my first Daily Tism article is out! please enjoy an insight into the levels of “in trouble” I feel every day thedailytism.com/autistic-woman…

the lion does not concern himself with the MyGov inbox

There should be 4 hours between 10 pm and midnight

girl so help me god if you don’t put your fucking records on

when i was younger ppl called me gullible but i was like ?? am i supposed to expect u to just lie to me?? im the dummy bc You lied to Me??

When Tonightly was cancelled and we had some shows left is when this enduring Greg Larsen character was invented….your turn Colbert

last night I went straight from work to the theatre in the dress I was already wearing, except I swapped my sneakers for evening shoes and added a red lip - I literally went from day to night! I couldn’t believe it, I really thought it would never happen for me

“ur a one trick pony” ok and ??? ponies shouldn’t even be DOING tricks!!! they should be grazing leisurely in a pasture or getting spooked by a loose plastic bag or eating oats out of the palm of a kind stranger. knowing one trick is going above and beyond actually

“I asked chatgpt” “I asked grok” I had two people on the spectrum consulting me at all times

My 12 must-see comedy shows at #edfringe 2025 for @RollingStoneUK: rollingstone.co.uk/tv/features/ed…

don’t underestimate how strongly some men feel about dismantling the state specifically because of the limited extent to which it has freed women and children from being utterly subjected to the control of their male head of household

its very cool that youtube is the largest collection of video footage ever assembled and it's borderline impossible to search. rocking up to the library of alexandria and the guy keeps showing you the same three scrolls and standing in your way if you try to look at anything else

hey (with the intention of getting ice cream)

a few months ago I went to get a bra fitting and the woman took one look at me and said, “you, my girl, need a Polish bra” and she was absolutely right, but what do you think that means?

I fucking love this new genre of “4D” lollies, they’re delicious and I feel like I’m finally getting to chew on rubber playground matting

my sore hips and I would like to assert an official fuck you to the stupid, hostile architecture, skinny “benches” at London bus stops - we would actually be better off sitting on the damn ground!

I have learned there's a person on the current season of Love Island who keeps using the term "escape goat" to refer to a kind of exit strategy, like a goat that you hop on and ride out of a difficult situation. Not sure why everyone isn't talking about this