chase

obsessed with working in a coworking space. i just walked past a meeting room where 5 guys were standing around a white board that just had the word “money” written on it. like BUSINESS is happening here. these are DISRUPTERS

party themes used to be fabulous things like “shopping spree” and “in a limo.” now the only options are “watching music videos in a studio apartment” and “industrial rooftop”

it’s crazy realizing you have to start taking care of your body when you’ve never done that before. it’s like so uhhhh what do you like to eat ? What do u need from me ? like ur meeting for the first time

“ur a one trick pony” ok and ??? ponies shouldn’t even be DOING tricks!!! they should be grazing leisurely in a pasture or getting spooked by a loose plastic bag or eating oats out of the palm of a kind stranger. knowing one trick is going above and beyond actually

i love hanging out with my cats :) it’s like hanging out w a friend who likes to sit on a tall perch in the corner of the room and stare at u

Boring! Woman Damaging Health Not Through Drugs or Alcohol but Just by Sitting Too Much: ow.ly/FIQW50WqKKZ

getting a job is easy all u have to do is get through 14 separate interviews, complete 6 aptitude tests, solve an answerable riddle, defeat a cyclops and steal his golden fleece, and be related to somebody at the company

just used a tool. like a crow

no ones rly living and dying by the sword anymore. it’s more about jobs / friendship / finding love

if i were an f1 driver i’d listen to ribs by lorde during all my races. windows down

deciding what to have for dinner like ok wait what are the types of foods again

they need to have a love island season w REAL people. just normal 9-5ers who aren’t media trained and have no hopes or ambitions or light in their eyes. i’m talking no filler, ugly style, off-putting personality, grappling with their own mortality, dry phone, awkward, pathetic

I respect dip n dots bc they’ve been branding themselves as the ice cream of the future for literally 40 years. theyre like hey u never know ! this shit might hit one day lmao who’s to say

getting a sock tan line makes me feel like an archaeologist on a dig

being an optometrist seems so fun. “can u see this? can u see this? how about this? hmm ok what about this? can u see this? u can’t??? omg that’s crazy..” & then they make ur pupils as big as they can go

other ppl’s to do lists are soo trivial. “pick up james from school” lmao who’s james

one crucial part of adulthood is finding an interesting fun fact to impress strangers with. mine is that jessie mccartney wrote bleeding love but u guys can’t take that one bc it’s mine

if i were the giving tree i would’ve been like ok no ?? who even r u

aimlessly wandering for 30 minutes in between every task. getting lost in space in time :)