Gretchen von Tongeln
@Metalligretch
I saw Encino Man in the theaters, so.
At a secluded mountaintop convent, I would be the third nun to go insane.
*i walk into my grandma’s hospital room & see the hamburglar sitting beside her bed. he shushes me & whispers* she’s sleeping. maybe come back tomorrow.
I was planning to become a recording star but I found out somebody already had an album called “Nilsson Schmilsson.”
Need an army of Joe Pescis to do my bidding, maybe go out drinking.
Mr. Johnny Cash wore black because of Vietnam. I wear black because of this.
“Addicted To Love” - Robert Palmer It became his biggest hit, reaching #1 on the US Billboard Hot 100 and #5 on the UK Singles Chart. The core riff inspired by a lick from “Some Guys Have All the Luck,” which Palmer had previously covered.
It hits 76 degrees and I turn into Robert Loggia.
Alexander Graham Bell wanted people to use “ahoy” when answering the phone, not “hello.” You people never do it, though. Give me a call and see what I say. It’s neither “ahoy” nor “hello,” but it’s closer to the former. We’ll still have a good time with his invention.
Telling people I hurt my foot "in space" instead of "walking."
Probably going to be reincarnated as something inflatable.
Comedians are the philosophers of our time (pedantic bores)
A murder occurred this a.m. on my train to work, and I’m not getting off until I solve it.
My to-do list is just a bunch of things to complain about.