Tommy Bayer
@tommybayertime
Head writer for @reductress
The show “The Bear” but the restaurant only serves peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and water
hello toilet police… ur gonna wanna come down and take a look at this..
thid is what they took from us
95 percent of Right Wing nostalgia is just a picture of a woman with unbelievable honkers captioned, “This is what they took from us 😔”
This was good because it explained a new word to me
why don't plankton just run into the krusty krab with a gun and blow everyone shit smoove off
(Jubilee debate video) Hello I am a journalist, I’m the editor of The Atlantic, and I have a PHD in economics and today I am surrounded by ten thousand bee’s AHHHHHHH FUCK AHH NO FUCK OW ShIT goD NO
Anthony Bourdain as a fly: Life is short. Leave some fruit on the counter. Open the windows, let the flies in. Open the doors, let flies into the rooms. Let flies in through doors and windows.
Me and @ethanmead4ever have a show tonight at Grove34 in Astoria 9pm pull up and get tickets here grove34.com/event-details/…
Ethan ate all the brownies :/
x.com/tommybayertime… Stolen
I wonder how long you could drive in a roundabout before a cop would be like hey you can’t do that anymore
