cranky AF
@secondhandpenis
he/him/hot • y’all wouldn’t understand
my country ass brother just bought this donkey and i’m pretty sure i want one now
gm everyone. my 13yo dog took a shit in my shower last night
*pretends to like your poetry while looking at them crazy ass titties
I don’t know who you are but your replies are really starting to annoy me.
Kindness is not weakness, actually, and you're dumb if you think that
nobody at ihop will even look at my butthole this fucking place sucks
I feel awful for my wife. We had sex on day 1 of vacation and for the next 6 days she was walking like a bowlegged saddle tramp.
my new washer/dryer can sense loads and make adjustments but women out here still accidentally getting pregnant 🤦♂️
ladies, what do you call that wasted space between your titties?
God blesses every man with 1 of 3 things: 1. brains 2. big dick 3. not sure what 3 is yet
Find you a man that makes you feel beautiful even without makeup on.
If he doesn’t carry pics of his kids in his wallet is he even worth having an affair with?
How long has it been since you’ve had some delicious butterscotch pudding?
Being 50 has been way cooler than expected. I can say “bitch i’m 50 what the fuck do you expect” to almost everything