Eddie Mulholland

"Why is Steve Reed agreeing to cut sewage dumping by half, why not by two turds…" It's not me....it was a friend... 😎

Who remembers “don’t tell him Pike!”

Just landed in Heathrow Airport T3. Went into M&S. Three staff working. I said to them "KNICKERS, KNACKERS..." None of them responded with "KNOCKERS". I have a voice recording & their names to report to M&S. We must confront them every time.

The poignant empty sofa tribute for the late, great Caroline Aherne #thefastshow

Just landed in Heathrow Airport T3. Went into M&S. Three M&S staff speaking in another language. I asked them “What language are you speaking?” They responded “Flobba-dobba-dobba” I have a photograph & their names to report to M&S. We must confront them every time.

Just landed in Heathrow Airport T3. Went into M&S. Three staff working. I said to them "You can’t tell me what to do, you ain’t my mother!" None of them responded with "YES I AM!". I have a voice recording & their names to report to M&S. We must confront them every time.

Best so far…

Just landed in Heathrow Airport T3. Went into M&S. Three staff working. I said to them “IRANU”. None of them responded with "UVAVU". I have a voice recording & their names to report to M&S. We must confront them every time.

Just landed in Heathrow Airport T3. Went into M&S. Three staff working. I said to them “Autoglass repair”. None of them responded with "Autoglass replace” I have a voice recording & their names to report to M&S. We must confront them every time.

Just landed in Heathrow Airport T3. Went into M&S. Three staff working. I asked them “Do you speak-a-my language?” They just smiled and gave me a Vegemite sandwich. I’m not a Man from Down Under. I have their names and a voice recording. We must confront them every time.

Just landed in Heathrow Airport T3. Went into M&S. Three staff working. I said to them “TO ME”. None of them responded with "TO YOU". I have a voice recording & their names to report to M&S. We must confront them every time.

Just landed in Heathrow T3. The first thing I see in this BRITISH airport was a shop called Pret A Manger which is almost certainly FRENCH for summat. Then I look at the departure board and all the planes are going ABROAD! Places where people are encouraged to speak foreign! Ugh

Just popped into the local Catholic church, where they were celebrating mass. Three priests were speaking in another language. I asked them "What language are you speaking?" They responded "Latin" I have a voice recording and their names to report to the C of E.

Just landed in Heathrow Airport T3. Went into M&S. Three staff working. I said to them “NICE TO SEE YOU, TO SEE YOU”. None of them responded with "NICE". I have a voice recording & their names to report to M&S. We must confront them every time.

Just landed in Heathrow Airport T3. Went into M&S. Three staff working. I said to them “MR LOVERMAN”. None of them responded with "SHABBA". I have a voice recording & their names to report to M&S. We must confront them every time.

Once you see it !

She is from South Ockenden. She was educated at Southend High School for Girls. She is 19 years old. She has kept England in the competition twice now. She is Michelle Agyemang, and she is one of our own.

Just to be clear, it is a flat out lie to suggest that Labour is going to raise the pension age to 74 or 72 or indeed do anything to alter the pension age.

Water companies say their industry is 'too expensive to nationalise'. Billionaires say a wealth tax would 'force them to leave the country'. House builders say rent controls would 'make housing more expensive'. Time to stop listening to this kind of self-interested bollocks.

Great stuff as always @MarcAspland