Scruffy
@UnimpressedWU
Known to rescue rabbits and snakes
Cat: if my calculations are correct, a meteor will destroy the Earth in 324 days... [What I hear] Cat: meow.. Me: awe, who wants a snuggle?
As death makes its way through 80s celebrities, please be patient.
a horny man with a beard and a dad bod would fix all of my problems
Last night’s South Park episode roasting Trump and Paramount was so good I have to post the entire thing. Enjoy!
Can’t believe I’ve lived far enough into the future to learn the first slur for robots
when u call customer support and a clanker picks up
The world has chosen fuckery again today. Time to dive in.
Impossible to describe what Hulk Hogan meant to kids like me as we grew up in the 1980s. He was every bit as big of an icon as Michael Jackson, Madonna, or any other pop culture figure at the time. Larger than life. RIP Brother
Oh you liked 27 of my tweets in a row? We're married now and I own you.
You’re nuts if you think anything that happens in the news will change anything in this country
take your pants off. i wanna rest my head in your lap
I operate under the assumption that every woman wants to be left alone.
Why are men scared to talk to women?