Dylan ❗️

Fart blew both my legs clean off

Committing digital blackface

Decided to give both my eyeballs a chemical burn today

You know whats cool? Swords and guns.

Lets do crimes for your birthday

Spaghetti more like upsetti (ate too much spaghetti)

gonna rip your panties off in memory of Hulk Hogan

Help I cant stop shitting and farting

I don’t want to be attracted to clown girls please don’t do this to me

I feel like most people on the show Catfish are a few fries short of a happy meal

Getting in a fist fight with Vin Diesel

Happy Gilmore 2 wasn’t bad

Farting blood in every corner of my apartment

The first thing you see when I walk into a room is my nipples

Pretending my vape is a guitar

My girl caught me cheating because I had my side chick on my phone as “Guinness world records”

Praying before eating at Hooters

I met my wife on the Tea app

If I was Galactus I would go around and shit in every sports stadium

The 5g towers are making my balls itch

You should be thankful you live in the time of air conditioning