Karma

If I ever seem down fuck you.

Happiness is contagious so keep that shit away from me

Oh your dick is your pinned tweet, how original.

Woke up this morning and didn’t thank God. I still had a good day.

I hope they have a Portillo’s in the singularity.

there are whores up to the goddamn rafters today.

Easy on the tanning bed no one wants to date a catcher's mitt

nobody writes songs about gin ‘n juice anymore

You ever start scratching your butthole and that's it, that's the tweet

nobody at ihop will even look at my butthole this fucking place sucks

❤️

i cannot stop laughing and i can’t tell anybody why.

Apparently Ozzy could not coexist with kiss cams at concerts, rest easy sir!

Are you going to listen, or do I have to take off my other hoop earring?

Having someone that truly fucking loves you for any period of time is fucking life altering...you will forever fucking seek more

Get on loser, we’re going bareback.

Full Moon lover

Rap fans these days are so quick to like anything in fear of being called a hater as if life ends there

So many stars ✨

I'm taking your mom to see coldplay keep your dad off the interwebs

i showed my penis to the internet this weekend.