Annie Way
@Anniewritess
Mother, wife, cat doorman. Tweets in link below IG anniewritesstuff
My visitors cancelled on me at the last minute, so here I am with a clean house like a fucking idiot.
Ok, satnav for flies - so they can find their way back out again.
Me: Does my car insurance cover this courtesy car? Insurance policy: You aren't not covered to drive other cars which weren't not leased or loaned which isnt/arent/wasn't covered unless they aren't not not covered. Me: ... so...?
me: ugh why am I the only good driver in this city my kid: what about dad me: my kid: me: no
Overheard two dads discussing how the early baby stage is, 'easier for women because they don't find it boring', and I've got some news for them.
If you ever see a 𝐿𝑖𝑣𝑒 𝐿𝑎𝑢𝑔ℎ 𝐿𝑜𝑣𝑒 sign in my house, I've been taken hostage and am signaling for help
Let’s not normalise having to send video introductions of ourselves as part of job applications.
I'm sorry, but flying is bad enough without having to listen to this adult woman sing off key Miley Cyrus songs in the boarding line
Man bun, top knot, Take it down, see what we've got, Is it 'cos you think it's hot, Or does it hide your bald spot?
Ok, but what card do I buy my dad for Father's Day if he's not a golfing, fishing, drunk with a flatulence problem?
The perfect volume for my tv is 13, so I guess I'm destined to have it slightly too loud or slightly too quite forever.
Playing a rhyming game with my kids and suggested we use the planets. Immediately realised what rhymes with Venus, and spent the rest of the game nervously waiting for my children to make the same discovery.
Why do they even make regular cottage cheese? What is the point of cottage cheese if it's not low fat?
All I want is to stop being asked how many triangles I can see.
Please respect my privacy during this time, I too have started eating carbs and cheese again after a several hour break