Total WAR
@1BadNeighbor
Stop saying, “The MLB”
Hey @grok based on my account history approximately how many hours lifetime have I spent on this app
Hahahahaha. As always South Park doesn’t miss.
Car broke down on the way to Cooperstown 🤣🤣🤣 Anyone headed that way?
14 all stars is a lot! Look up “Karl Malone 14” for more information!
Join us in wishing a Happy 62nd Birthday to 14x #NBAAllStar, 2x NBA MVP, and 75th Anniversary Team member... “The Mailman,” Karl Malone! #NBABDAY
It was originally "Stairway to Heaven" by Ed Zeppelin but the music was too expensive so we had to go with this more obscure track
And now please rise for our opening hymn, uh, "In the Garden of Eden" by I. Ron Butterfly!
raise your hand if you’re a zionist pedophile
Hello, Newman 😑
Has anyone ever started a Twitter Spaces in their pocket?
Update: Trevor Bauer returns from the Japanese minor leagues, immediately surrenders the longest home run in recorded history
Not even the unwavering support of every incel in the western hemisphere could prevent the pitcher with NPB’s worst ERA from being sent down to the Japanese minor leagues
Some people are living bowel movement to bowel movement
Going through a box of old Simpsons stuff and just found these two notes left by Conan on our office door when we weren't there. I believe these are from that forgotten, kinda crazy time between Seasons 4 & 5 when we, Conan and Dan McGrath were the only writers for a few months!
This is the fan who yesterday in Chicago yelled a remark at the Dbacks' Ketel Marte about his mother, who sadly passed away in a car accident eight years ago. He got what he deserved for being a fucking hateful POS. Now you’re banned for life from every @MLB ballpark.
post office employees when you ask them to do anything
Here’s you having lunch with Jeffrey Epstein
I am profoundly alarmed about the future of the @DNC and the country by yesterday’s NYC anointment of a candidate who failed to disavow a "globalize the intifada" slogan and advocated Trotskyite economic policies. I fear it is evidence that our party is following the most…
In Iran if a 12-year-old girl is raped and impregnated by her father, she must carry the baby to term, or be thrown in prison for life. Wait, sorry, no. That's Mississippi.
Dude in front of me at chipotle didn’t like the amount of steak he was given so he asked for 2 scoops of queso and then told her to toss the whole bowl and walked out. I’m not that petty but power move
The Zone of Interest (2023)
Tel Aviv this evening ❤️
Capitalism needs a logo. It's a huge miss that Communism has the Hammer & Sickle (which actually goes hard) and Capitalism has nothing. Let's do better branding for Capitalism!
Capitalism needs a logo. It's a huge miss that Communism has the Hammer & Sickle (which actually goes hard) and Capitalism has nothing. Let's do better branding for Capitalism!