toad
@thelifeoftoad
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When you think of a slightly better wording for a tweet after posting but you remind yourself it doesn’t matter. None of this matters

Restaurants are the most degenerate place on earth After greeting you the server is going to the back to hit his weed pen And flirt with the waitress he’s going to be smashing later Your order goes into the system and the drunk cook does a line of blow off the counter Nobody…
Ok, but what if you took 10^100 shrimp and wired them together to make a giant computer, and then ran an emulation of a human mind on that shrimputer,
someone definitely roofied the party sized bag of hot Cheetos I ate for lunch today
Why does the BRAT diet include toast. Do you really need to toast the bread for it to be effective? Should be the BARB diet, thank you for your attention to this matter
My grandpa had a 45 minute talk with me today because i said yard work is gay