my life is a living hell. every minute is torture
@on_da_spectrum
I won’t and I never will
The most important statement ever made re: interior design and masculinity is the scene in Mad Men when Betty is redecorating and asks Don what he thinks of her changes; he takes a beat and studies the room, makes a few spot-on suggestions, and just walks out
Dudes like this were already gay. I’ve been married for 14 years and have never been home decor shopping, or even had an opinion on the subject, except for the one time when I had a painting custom made depicting me meeting a group of space aliens. It’s now hanging above a…
Me and the guys sitting on the couch with a blood glucose monitor and a bucket of Sour Patch kids trying to see who can get the highest reading without having a seizure
RIP to the smartest guy of all time
During their prime, Black Sabbath was operating on a mental level that had never before been seen in history, and has never been seen since
Saw a beautiful interpretive sculpture of Clifford yesterday
The late bird gets the much cooler "night worm"
Drunk at a wedding is a Top 1 most blissful feeling of all time
I think we can all agree that there is literally no Hell hot enough for the NBC execs who denied Freaks and Geeks a second season, and that any just and reasonable society would not allow them to continue their going about their lives as free, unimprisoned men
If i was mic'd up at the MLB all star game I would be saying stuff so out of pocket that they'd have to shoot me with a dart
I was walking and a truck pulled up alongside me and rolled down its window. Inside was a man and his identical twin brother. When they spoke, they said the same things at the same time. They said I only had to suck off one of them for the ride, and that I could pick which one
Over the course of years privately watching all the same shows as my girlfriend at the same time she’s watching them but never mentioning it or trying to talk about them with her
Ordering a burger in Poland more often than not gets you two patties with a bun between them
You haven't lived until you have been in a McDonald’s in Poland run by only white people serving only white people. Spotless, efficient, and oddly quiet. And of course completely different high quality food.
Insane that this is It. I'm an adult. No more "when I'm older," we’re playing for points now. I could have a baby 9 months from today and name it some fucking awful joke name that everybody hates and it would be stuck with it forever. Because I'm an adult who chose it for them
Alice in Chains rocks so hard and my gf just can't fucking stand them. They're like anti-girlfriend music, every sound they make is utterly poisonous to the girlfriend mind. I told her Rooster was about a guy during Vietnam and the sigh she let out almost knocked me over
I can’t believe the guy who did the Despicable Me soundtrack ended up being the weakest link on the new Clipse album
Crazy that it’s Right Now. Like, it’s literally right now. Like Now. Right now it’s now. Now, right now is now. Now now it’s now. Nowwww it’s now.