Nuke

froth king slowly popping into nothing

It used to be you had to learn to live with yourself. But luckily that’s all changed thanks to Phone

Deeply tan boomer couple kissing on the sidewalk before entering the steakhouse at 3pm on a Wednesday. Genuinely happy for them

a fool of yourself is one of the most classic things you can make

Mr. & Mrs. Meeeeetttt we’re so drunk @MrMet @mrsmet

hitting a home run gotta feel good as fuck for the home run hitter -@bigtimechiller1

Pretty bored after 6.5 innings of baseball. I just wish we could all sing together.

How come they’re called innings if they’re made of outs?

Notice how Dr. Roberta Bobby left Twitter just before Joyce Carol Oates joined.

True love will find you in the end

how it feels to be a 27 year-old Radio Dept. fan with a dead end job in the big city

let’s share locations platonically

being 27 at a 23 yo party

setting in motion is one of the finest things to do with wheels

Pregame = befores Function = durings Afters = afters

Your “chop hoe era” never happened. It will shock you how much it never happened.

What makes the Tickle Monster so f*cking scary is how it can possess the body of someone you trust at any moment. It preys on your armpits and knees but even worse it sews the seeds of paranoia

I need to call my insurance provider do some laundry polish some poems take a cute pic reading faith’s published story and eat some spaghetti