Mike

If I was president I’d close our national deficit by selling advertising packages to big tobacco companies. Marlboro stealth bomber, the U.S.S NEWPORT, etc.

Went to the gym and forgot my AirPods, shit sucked. Back at the gym 5 hours later with AirPods for redemption.

My taco will be up for sale soon if any mutuals are interested before it goes up lmk

i just tried to cook a meal at home and it cost me $10,000 dollars and took 45 days

Gods timing might be sooner than you think. Be ready for it.

Ink acquisition will continue until morale improves

Love is the only thought Pain is the only feeling

God really be giving his hard battles out like candy

This some real shit

My Battlefield 6 Wishlist

How it feels to have: 0 Labubus 0 Love Island watched 0 Dubai chocolate consumed 0 Dating profiles

Not another setup post. 🪽

Guns don’t kill people, people kill people … Except the P320, it will kill you.

Some 19 year old dude just asked to leave the @Starbucks I go to almost every day because I sat down with my computer and didn't buy a coffee. I think I spend 1-2k at this one location every year lmao. GG's time to find new work spot.

Nostalgia is a liar with soft hands

real

Bikini Bottom is a stand your ground state

Buddies' hug probably feels like falling asleep in the car as a child and waking up in bed.

In there like swimwear

My body is a machine that turns existential dread into mediocre weightlifting PR’s