John Thyroid
@banay_john
unc peater
I shared an Uber pool with Jeffrey Epstein in 2018 and he was playing Flappy Bird on his phone
Low temp in the morning Peaters take warning Low temp at night Peaters also take warning
Friendly reminder
ur average latina: "mi amooooor, I didn't know if you wanted cochinita or ceviche so I made both!"
this hair clip takes place in the 3 coffees no lunch universe
pretty hair clip
You’re not crazy — you’re just finally seeing things clearly. And honestly? This isn’t just a success — this is an epic win.
Political science majors be like “I have a tweet due at 9am”
People don’t eat oysters anymore they just say this
nothing to joke about in my zincless life
Relearning my job every monday like adam sandler in 50 first dates
Did you seriously just navigate this social situation with poise and ease
CEO and head of HR caught cheating on the kiss cam at Sol Brah’s DJ set
People don’t say “I’m thirsty” anymore they say this
fuck my beverageless drinkcel life
tryna be like this, just in our bag & genuinely growing together while being each others biggest flex. some fuck everyone else type shit.
Being a professor so funny you just saying shit