penelope

Names i have gone by/been called. Vote for your favorite!

didn’t write or read today so i’m literally a failure and going nowhere in life

why does matilda djerf’s mother have blue hair

i really hope my cobbler is finished with my boots before Thursday

who’s gon… love me like this

*kissing his receding hairline* promise you’ll stop for me

i love acting like i’m twitter famous with 574 followers

maybe this is my youthful naïveté showing (which many of you enjoy and is one of the reasons my account is so popular) but was i supposed to know who Ozzy Osbourne was?

reminding everyone i liked this

My sister worked at a frozen yogurt place that called the employees “frostitutes", they are now out of business.

i’m sorta mad at these results.

a few weeks ago i referred to my boss as my dad, the context was a customer asking something and me responding, “Wait let me go ask my dad”

having my name on this website be penny is weird because i do mainly go by penelope but also some people call me penny but also idk.

how it feels being penelope

Are you guys hearing this open.spotify.com/track/0Px73m5A…

making out would be lowkey hot

i’m killing everybody involved with chickpea pasta. also full body deodorant.

literally every time i buy fresh fruit im like, “maybe i could make homemade jam” as if i ever have needed/used jam.