PERNICUS

Despartun the male stag beetle: -Found eating yoghurt out of desperation during the famine. -No females I own like him, nor does he like them either. -Taste a plum once, falls in love with it. -Mates with the plum and fucking dies. *OK*

me: waiter what is the most expensive meal you have? waiter: the lobster sir me: wonderful one for me and one for my date waiter: (reading note i secretly passed him) “i’m sorry sir but all we have tonight are hotdogs”

I just saw a thai account compare the border conflict to cambodia doing an "october 7th" style attack. More thai people died on the actual october 7th than in yesterday's border skirmish.

thailand cambodia border news is grim. really pointless waste of life, there is nothing at all to be gained by anyone.

people killin people dyin peter lois meg and brian

one of two tattoo designs I'm working on for @SexbeanPernicus

Keir Starmer is so baffling. He's like a bad substitute teacher. Totally charmless, never at ease, too austere to be fun but totally unable to project authority. I know the kids would be talking over him 24/7. You have to wonder if he has a single principle or belief

If you boiled a gangrenous pig carcass in diarrhea for a week and assembled a golem from the sludge you scraped off the bottom of the pot, it would beat Keir Starmer in a general election.

[the hover car glides silently through the night above a frenetic neon metropolis, the self-aware hyper intelligent GPS AI speaks] I forgot where you wanted to go

Futuristic AI assistant: Sir, my sensors indicate you may be tweaking Me: n-nonsense... I'm locked in

GF: whats that smell? OH MY GOD GET YOUR HAND OFF THE GRILL YOU'RE GETTING BURNED ME(SMART, WATCHES ADAM RAGUSEA): it's called the maillard reaction ,

SERGEANT: GOD DAMMIT PRIVATE WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING BACK HERE. ME[AIMING DOWN SIGHTS AT OUR OWN GUYS]: imma do my own thing