Sam Adams

I was woken at 3 a.m. by a commotion caused by a load of trucks delivering stuff - in bulk - to my house! Gave me the freight of my life. #LunchPun

Which Director isolates himself while camping? Tentin Quarantino. #LunchPun

There is a lot of excitement in the world of confectionery as rumours abound that Cadbury are ceasing production of the crumbliest chocolate in the world although there are many who believe this is just ‘Flake News’ #LunchPun

#LunchPun Went to the Terrible Escapologists’ Annual Dinner last night…I didn’t want to go, but I just couldn’t get out of it.

I've bought a faulty cuckoo clock which unfortunately chimes "to-whit-to-whooo". Does the bird still appear? Yes, owly. #LunchPun

King Charles got tired of walking around his massive Highgrove estate, so he got himself a nobility scooter... #LunchPun

If there were no tanks in biblical times how do you explain the Sherman on the mount? #lunchpun

Which allegorical narrative poem rejected evidence based reasoning? Dante’s Infer No #WednesdayWit #LunchPun #RateMyPun

I'm thingking of releasing my own branded mattresses and crash mats as part of my fall collection. #LunchPun

#LunchPun I recently stole box loads of disinfectants, detergents & liquid soap…made a very, very, very clean getaway.

I asked if I could buy any of the hoops, balls or poles they had down at the sea life centre but apparently they're for display porpoises only! #lunchpun

#LunchPun  #tuesdaytitters There was a big fire at the local plimsoll shoe factory last night. Loads of community members turned up to help save the stock. It was all hands to the pumps.

#LunchPun Going to take part in a Sleep Study…it’s at my local Drop Off Centre

I asked my sheepdog how many sheep we had, he said 40. "What? We should only have 37!" I replied. "I know" he said, "I rounded them up". #LunchPun🍸

#LunchPun I’ve got a cross-trainer…I was still in bed this morning when he rang the doorbell for the start of my workout.

I’ve had the musical scores for all my favourite dances bound into a single volume, but I’ve dropped my cream tea all over it. It appears I’ve clotted my boppy book. #LunchPun

#LunchPun I used to be a professional draughts player in the USA…I had a checkered career

It's taken months for the towels I ordered to arrive. These things are sent to dry us. #LunchPun

Can’t believe it, I did a post at the weekend about my train trip from Prestatyn to Llandudno… it went via Rhyl #LunchPun

#LunchPun #UxbridgeEnglishDictionary ALLERGY - To have an adverse reaction to one of Sacha Baron Cohen’s characters

I used to write songs about stock car racing. Every one was a banger. #Lunchpun