Noel Anthony Conway

Some wrong'un has stolen all my Dolly Parton, Kenny Rogers and Garth Brooks records... I WANT MY COUNTRY BACK! #LunchPun #RateMyPun

The alarm pinged. I slowly came to. The radio was playing 'Green Door'... 7am and already things were off to a shaky start... #LunchPun

Chief Inspector: Any word on those stolen trainers? Me: Not yet, but I've put some Fila's out... #LunchPun

There are downsides to being an armchair critic... Like being banned forr life from DFS... #LunchPun

Antisemitism used to be when you denied a holocaust. Now it's when you don't support one

King Charles got tired of walking around his massive Highgrove estate, so he got himself a nobility scooter... #LunchPun

War Pigs Generals gathered in their masses Just like witches at black masses Evil minds that plot destruction Sorcerer of death's construction In the fields, the bodies burning As the war machine keeps turning Death and hatred to mankind Poisoning their brainwashed minds Oh,…

R.I.P Ozzy Osbourne 76 Will never be another quite like you You made that final gig and £140 million for charity

There was trouble at the National Mauve Convention earlier today when a peaceful protest turned violet... #LunchPun

Pizza costing £25.99 👍🏽

I've just finished reading 'The Farm' by Old Mcdonald, and I can tell you its a real ee-i-ee-eye-opener... #LunchPun

We're so sorry to report that Charles Augins has passed away, aged 81. Not just one of, but *the* best guest actor #RedDwarf ever had. ganymede.tv/2025/07/charle…

Them: That new bloke, Libut - he's really strange... Me: I know right? I guess he's just built different... #sillysaturday

Arson I've got a real flare for it #LunchPun

I'd divorce my husband just for attending a Coldplay concert

I have tears in my eyes having heard the news that Sky Kids will no longer be commissioning Kids media content. Why can’t people understand the importance of providing quality UK made relevant content for kids, cos childhood lasts a lifetime 🥲

Lois Lane: 'Lex Luthor is going to be at the illegal digital currency forum this evening, you've got to stop him...' Superman: 'No can do Lois, I'm powerless against Crypto night...' #LunchPun

Whoever stole my shoes while I was on that bouncy castle needs to grow up!

Gandalf: Hey, do you reckon Frodo Baggins would be up for that dangerous Mordor mission? Elrond: Dunno - give him a ring and find out... #LunchPun

Yesterday a teenager leapt from several buildings, fought crooked agents, dodged bullets and silently took his foes down with ruthless precision. Oddly, he later had no memory of what had just happened... Kids today, eh? They don't know they're Bourne... #LunchPun

There's so much crime in the neighbourhood that I only go out when its really cloudy, because there is safety in nimbus... #LunchPun