Pandora (Dr. Bimbo, PhD)
@Pandora_Delaney
(she/prey) Slut-vangelist. Sex, love, polyamory, and whatever catches my fancy. Verified Good Girl™️
The Sluts™️ weigh in on the latest online dating discourse. Should this be the start of a series where we debunk other such maladaptive social contagions in the modern dating landscape?
The most baffling dating discourse in a while. Are women being stood up for dates so often that this is actually adaptive? Why can’t they just communicate instead of playing games? Don’t they realize this signals low status & immaturity? Play stupid games, win stupid prizes ✨
I have never lived with a partner before but I’m about to live with two boyfriends (and I’m really excited!)
Share a piece of dating lore about yourself.
Dumb bimbo moment: I intentionally turned down sleepover offers from 3 partners, only to wake up wanting cuddles. I really can’t wait until I live in a group house where I can balance my desire for cuddles with my sleeping condition preferences.
Sometimes my boyfriend appears in my dreams to save me from predicaments, such as kidnapping attempts (not the sexy kind) or being under-fucked.
When your twitter husband goes viral 🥲
Confession: one time I heard a really redneck coworker say "damn girl, what dem tiddies do?" when a girl walked by in a bikini. And about once a month, I think about this and wonder what he meant by that.
I’ve become a more efficient slut: Back when my body count was slowly inching up via online dating, I felt v slutty. I was constantly looking for partner(s). Now that my body count jumps upwards at sex parties, I actually feel less slutty. Even though the numbers say otherwise.
I don’t usually get FOMO… but my boyfriends keep sending me selfies of them hanging out without me. 🥺
“Gay people would be much happier learning to enjoy hetero sex” /s The desire for BDSM is a sexual orientation, not a preference you can lightly discard. This is dumb and offensive.
these women would be much happier learning to climb on top of their bfs/husbands, holding their waists down, and doing that grinding motion guys usually hate but feels so good for you
While there are many compelling reasons I’m looking forward to living with my two boyfriends, the most important one is that if one of them is away, I’ll still have the other to protect me from spiders.
I think I should start gathering vignettes on wholesome sluttiness and compile them in a blog post titled “Chicken Soup for the Slut’s Soul.”
I’m a heterorealist. I look at the reality of how good my relationships with men are and then decide I want to have more of that.
Some people are heterofatalists while @Pandora_Delaney is about to move in with 2 boyfriends.
That’s right, the biological processes required for human procreation should be divorced from human sexuality 🙄 Ovulation is part of sexual reproduction. It’s inherently sexual.
Some people are heterofatalists while @Pandora_Delaney is about to move in with 2 boyfriends.
Why people think I host CNC orgies: because I’m an irredeemable slut. Why I actually host CNC orgies: leftover snacks and a good excuse to rot in bed an entire day afterwards. (But also the slut thing.)
Every party where people might meet a partner via assortative mating processes, is a “eugenics party” 🤷🏼♀️
Eugenics party, my place, 8pm +2 required Bring the hottest girl and highest IQ guy you know
Back when I was less privacy conscious I could just post a semi-nude on Twitter when I was close to a follower milestone I wanted to hit it. Now I guess I’ll just have to be patient. 😠
Or they could both be in open marriages but not want the public to know about it because society is so wildly judgmental. (Statistically speaking, they are probably both cheating ofc.)
NEW: Astronomer CEO caught on camera with his HR chief during a Coldplay concert in Boston. The pair was seen rushing to cover their faces in horror when they realized they were on the big screen. “Oh what... either they're having an affair or they're very shy,” said Coldplay's…
Apparently Trump and Hitler both should have gone the art school direction? Alas.
I wish he wasn't so interesting
What people think sluts are infected with: chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis What sluts are actually infected with: norovirus, COVID, colds, etc I do think I’ve had more colds/COVID than I otherwise would, because of my slut lifestyle.
Catholics go through premarital counseling to make sure they have talked over big topics prior to marriage. I feel like anyone getting married should be required to have a conversation about monogamy, if there are any circumstances under which that would change, etc.