Dan Hopper
@DanHopp
Writer of comedy and sports stuff. Never not making this exact expression. Sports takes at @danhoppops
The “blunt objects people grasp for while being strangled in a noir” section of Target
Gonna become one of those guys who’s obsessed with politicians “condemning” stuff. Thinking up 8-10 things a day for them to condemn, hoping they condemn them, being uneasy if they do not condemn them, etc. A real condemn head
I saw Manchester By The Sea at the Arclight with the director present and some lady brought her corgi, who loudly drank water for the entire scene where Casey Affleck weeps over his dead brother, and I couldn’t stop laughing and everyone who heard me and not the dog got SO mad
share a piece of movie theater lore about yourself
4 in 5 Canadians are interested in eggs outside of breakfast - if you are skeptical about this then you can consult the footnote
Ghislaine: For your birthday, I compiled a book of personalized letters from dozens of your closest pedophiles! Next Guy (got him an Instant Pot): damn…
Reading the Where’s Waldo audiobook and they’re just describing each person individually then try to slip “Waldo” in there real fast but I HEARD IT
The most viral tweets now are someone going “Serious question: what do men even eat for dinner?” and 9 million quote tweets replying “LMAOOO imagine never having heard of meals”
Grok, can you give me some fun movie-themed appetizer names for my Oscar party? GROK:
Had an absolute blast talking about the Chicago White Sox with @jimmypardo and @AlexSchmidty -- a surprisingly positive convo about a fixed World Series, the Sox/Cubs divide, getting rejected from Space Jam, and why Field Of Dreams is medium-stupid: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/chi…
Had fun wallowing in misery with @edzitron and @blumenfeld about THE RAIDERS and Raiders fans, specifically, ARE there still Raiders fans and how have they survived the last two decades? podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/la-…
going to war because some dudes wanted to say “gay retard” at work
There’s this weird subsection of 170k follower twitter accounts called like The Dave Bawk Show who are completely right wing but antiwar and they’re always going nooo you promised!!! at Trump like twice a week
All these Superman ‘character’ posters look like they cast someone really unexpected as Superman
My life would remain largely unchanged.
What if cats were olympic divers? [🎞️ pabloprompt, ai]
Huh. I was not expecting this to be the angle of the Springsteen biopic:
I know we're desensitized to the lameness of the ads on here now but I just got one that says "Yep. This is WOW!" and a pic of an AI cherry
What's the worst moment you've ever experienced as a sports fan? It's pretty tough to top @ChaseMit watching the Falcons blow a 28-3 lead in the Super Bowl to the Patriots while getting piled-on by Nazis: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/atl…
About to see Les Miserables. Me to my wife: What's this about? Franklin, a highly successful producer who, through a series of chronologically earlier scenes in reverse order, is revealed to have alienated his friends with his ambition? Her: LOLL...stick to guy stuff!!
In Elton John's book, he talks about finally meeting Brian Wilson and Brian just singing the "I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND, I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND" part from "Your Song" to him over & over again. RIP 👑
What's it like when your childhood team suddenly moves away? On a new THRILL OF DEFEAT I talked to @mattufford and @DannyBKelly about rooting for the '90s Sonics then watching billionaires drag them off to Oklahoma City podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/sea…