AlwaysAshley
@AshleyAlready
I wanted to go out and change the world but I couldn’t find a babysitter.
Pre-order my new book, “Brian of DC Roofing and Waterproofing in Rocklin, CA Sent Me Dick Pics & Related Tales of the Audacity of Men” on Amazon soon.
Her: Your weird ex is doing weird shit online. Me: (Pinching the bridge of my nose) You're gonna have to be so much more specific than that, with both the who and the what, and if it isn't about me directly I think I'm good with not knowing right now.
“I wish Ghislaine Maxwell well.” - Trump “She’s a child sex trafficker.” - Reporter “Big deal. I wish her well.” - Trump Jesus Christ man.
being a woman on this app gotta be so ass you post one tweet that goes viral and there's 50 incels in your replies calling you fat and ugly
on some level, i'm still mourning the fact that you can't just love people, and the world at large, into being better. i'm like if a care bear gave up
Look, I know the timing is bad and it’s starting to seem suspicious that there are so many men who act completely insane in my life, but it’s 1am and I just got The Most Unhinged email from this lawyer I haven’t even thought about in months. What’s going on with men right now?
I may have to hire an attorney to sue an attorney who won't do the work I paid him for to fix an error made by a judge but I mostly just want to go outside and scream until I lose my voice.
Heads up, guys, not wanting to converse with an incel gives you dementia, so now I’m gonna have to deal with that too, I guess.
😂 The hostility just drips from your words. It was hostility that started this string. To not want to talk to somebody with whom you disagree is where ignorance, goofy thinking and, ultimately, dementia come from.
I’m so tired of the leftist media. President Trump had a 90% approval rating among Republicans, 95% with idiots, 97% among people whose cousin is also their sister, and 98% with pedophiles, but the lame stream media won’t tell you that.
I went on a date and she said she didn’t want me to spend money on flowers, so I made her a bouquet from sticky notes.
“There’s something f*cked up about that motherf*cker.” -Hunter Biden on Stephen Miller 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
Megan Byron, wife of the guy who got caught bringing his not nearly as pretty side piece to a Coldplay concert, has issued a statement.
My two little neighbor cuties brought me a birthday presents. It's not about those little gifts. Its the fact that they thought about me. I'm blessed to have them in my life. The platter is a big jello thing their mom made.
Yeah because we don’t like having sex with losers like yourself. And we have the power to choose, which is what you’re actually crying about. Hope that clears it up.
Ever notice that, when a woman says that she loves sex, there is always a "but" in the sentence?
I have two adult kids? I love sex but only when it comes with emotional intimacy so I wait until I'm in an exclusive relationship with a man I trust. I THOUGHT THIS IS HOW YOU ALL WANTED WOMEN TO BEHAVE. I don't care what you want, frankly, but you're all such little bitches.
Funny how, now that women don't want to have kids anymore, they don't want to have sex, either, or anything else to do with men. OK, now it's out there for all to see.
Men on Twitter: All women go for the same 10% of men, it's why the rest of us are lonely. Me: I met like a top 2% man when it comes to looks and money but he seemed like a drunk loser so I wasn't into it. Men on Twitter: YOU'RE a loser. And a whore. And NO ONE wants you. Old!
Me: What do you do for work? Him: Haha just your friendly neighborhood (mumbles) -tician! Me: A mortician?! 😮 Him: Oh, geez, haha, no. Optician. Me: Oh okay. ☹️☹️☹️ Him: You seem…disappointed? Would you rather…? Me: Yeah but it’s okay.